In Other Words

Dictionary: There are 615,000 words in the English Dictionary and yet only one of them is spelt correctly. Great Britain has the finest educational establishments and the most renowned libraries and independent press in the world. We have produced some of the finest poets, writers, scholars, scientists, soldiers and humanitarians to have walked on this earth. We single high-handedly kick-started the Industrial Revolution, television and the Internet. And yet Great Britain also has the best viewing figures for Big Brother on the planet... Discuss!

• Anarchy
No rules, OK?

• Alternative medicine
Trick or treatment.

• Affordable housing
Why would you build anything else?

• Abortion
The world’s longest massacre.

• Bees
Nature’s 3D printers.

• Blood test
Red alert.

• Bond movies
Great Britain is threatened with annihilation and the Government sends in one man to sort it out.

• Blame culture
Anybody who watches daytime television knows, where there's blame there's a claim.

• Cider attack
Throwing a bottle of Merrydown at your computer.

• Cyberattack
Geeks on the front line.

• Consultants
Come in and tell you how to eat your own sandwich.

• Diamonds Are forever
They don’t deteriorate.

• Déjà view
Christmas television.

• Euro:
Beyond salvation.

•Father Christmas:
Fake news.

• Fishermen
The last gathers of food from
the wild.

• Genetically modified foods.
Dining with the devil.

• Global warming
Humanity skating on thin ice.

• GM farming
The root of all evil!

• Goldman sachs
Are ‘the have and have-yachts’.

• Homophobia
People who are scared of their own house.

• Ice Fish
Their bodies are full of anti-freeze.

• Jack the Ripper
England’s first serial killer.

• Kids Today
Will build homes in space and live on the moon, but will never be able to afford one in England.

• L.A.
Hell, hey?

• Muckdonalds and cola-cola
The food of choice for Olympic athletes!

• New Ideas
Everything is always created twice: first in the mind and then in reality.

• Overseas Aid
Allows tin pot dictators to buy fighter planes, tanks and warships, whilst we have to sell ours because we have no money. Go figure.

• Prime Minister of England
Lives in a little house down a cul-de-sac.

• Quangos
Bizzy body organisations that take £million bribe to do the governments bidding.

• Role Models
For the record, fornicating footballers, thriving politicians, greedy bankers, WAGs, drug dealers and pop stars are not role models.

• Recycled Toilet Paper
What's all that about?

• Spanish inquisition
Tough love for heretics!

• Starbucks
Didn’t pay a bean in UK tax on sales of £1.2 billion (in three years), they make a mockery out of our taxman.

• Social Drugs – buy now pay later
It’s now a medically proven fact that they lead to psychotic breakdowns, bipolar disorders, paranoia, depression and anxiety in later life.

• Severance Pay
Rewarding people for failure.

• Transparency
A political buzzword, for what we used to call the truth.

• Tax on smoking
That should make them cough up.

• Tortured Liberal
People who claim victimhood by association.

• Tap Water
Treated sewage.

• Trees
lungs of the planet.

• Ten Commandments
Are NOT multiple choice.

• Trinity
Buy into Two, get One free.

• Ufologists
People who wear the same T-shirt for five days in a row.

• Universities
Sell courses for jobs that don't exist.

• Victorian plumbing manuals:
Approved the use of lead piping for drinking water.

• Victoria Climbie
The benchmark for child cruelty and social services incompetence, (lessons will be learned). Superseded by the Baby P scandal (lessons will be learned). Superseded by . . . the list will go on.

• Vacuum
The person who gives everyone a piece of his or her mind ends up with a vacuum.

• Vegetarians
Don't eat anything that once had a face on it.

• Vision
The art of seeing the invisible.

• Wind Power
Making a fat profit out of thin air

• Water
Is the great leveler.

• Writers
Live hand to mouth.

• Working Class
Have television sets, bigger than their bookcases.

• Western Aid
Taking money from poor people in rich countries and giving it to rich people in poor countries.

• Worship
Without worship we go about in misery.

• Woolly Thinkers
People who say I am spiritual but not religious.

• X nihilo (out of nothing)
The Bank of England printing £200 billion, in a strategy called Quantitative Easing, to soak up government debt.

• Yoga
Sitting around doing nothing is one thing, but sitting around doing nothing on a fancy mat is quite another.

• Yogurt
A dairy based drink that's gone off.

• You
Set your own limits.

• You
Only you can be you. You are unique.

• Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish John
Daddy’s boy.

Plus 3,000 more.

In Other Words: NEW WORD

Want to contribute to In Other Words ?

Then please feel free to submit your word and playful definition and if it's deemed suitable, then we will include it in our forthcoming alternative dictionary for the 22nd Century.

Good luck.

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