Not Another CookERY
Programme

I know what you’re thinking: ‘Oh no, not another cookery programme!’ Because watching them on TV has now become Britain's biggest spectator sport.

Gordon Ramsay (needs to ‘simmer’ down a bit):
What’s more cookery programmes are still ‘flavor’ of the month. If you ‘digest’ the TV Guide (which shows all 86 channels), then you will see that 450+ hours of food-based shows are shown every week. Which is ironic because two-thirds of people who watch them, do so whilst gorging on unhealthy snacks!

Paul Hollywood (felt the ‘knead’ to ‘prove’ himself):
The problem as I see it is that most cookery programmes are about ridiculous challenges and that they not about cooking food that we can all enjoy at all and so I have cooked up a show that incrEDIBLE as it may seem, will both entertain and inform the viewer. There’s even a cherry on top: I have permission to put it on at Stamford Bridge (home of Chelsea FC) which is of course in the heart of some of the greatest restaurants in the world.

Mary Berry (always ‘rises’ to the occasion):
Remember: TV cookery programmes are a ‘piece of cake’ to make, cheap to ‘whip up’, advertisers ‘salivate’ over them and they make £millions for the production companies that own the format. In addition, Broadcasters love them because they know the demographic of their audience.

Which explains why Channel Four paid £75 million for ‘The Great British Bake Off’, because they knew they could exploit its commercial potential, whereas the BBC (because of the unique way it funds itself) could not.

So despite the show’s being 75 minutes long, (including 17 minutes of adverts) and viewing figures dropping from the BBC’s starting figure of 10.4 million to C4’s 4.6 million (which is still their largest audience since the opening ceremony of the 2012 Paralympic Games), those numbers will be vindicated. In fact C4 bosses are happy with anything above 3 million.

Hence:
- Jamie Oliver is personally worth £240 million.
- Rick Stein has £30 million to his name.
- Mary Berry is worth £15 million.
- Even Paul Hollywood earned £10 million as ¼ (one of four) of a presenter.


© Geoffrey Reed
Original Mind
29/08/17


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